Hump Day Hook #9
Welcome to the FIRST Hump Day Hook Hop of 2013!With this blog hop, each author posts one paragraph from a WIP or finished book for all to see. Then, it would be really cool if you could visit all the writers participating and comment on their paragraph!
This excerpt (not a true paragraph as it is dialogue) is from my current work in progress, Dearest Bloodiest Elizabeth, the sequel to Pulse and Prejudice, the vampire adaptation of Jane Austen's classic love story.
This scene - a continuation from Hump Day Hook #6 - newlywed Elizabeth Darcy finds herself confronted by a strange man who knows too much about her husband's dark secret...
"Do you mean to frighten me?"
The odd man studied Elizabeth with his squinty eyes, his lips receding into a firm frown. “No. In lying fashion, you ignore…what even children know. I see your life is too brief to have worth.”
She released a humourless laugh. “You are one of those deceitful people who affect modesty but who meanwhile breathe out threats and blood. My life has no worth?”
“So long as you remain with him, you walk a razor’s edge with death; but I see you are under his power.”
“As is any woman under the power and control of her husband. If you suppose anything more, you quite mistake the matter.”
“The vampire…he has powers of attraction.”
“Oh, indeed! For what else would a rich, intelligent, handsome man have to recommend him?” She stood and strode towards the door. “Say what you must and go, though you do nothing with all your profusion of words but fight a fire with dry straw. I will not leave my husband.”
Love to know what you think!
Thanks for stopping by! Hop on over to the other authors' sites for their hooks.
Click here for the list of all the participants to visit for this Hump Day Hook!
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I love the way she talks and the imagery she uses. Great hook!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great hook! I so much love the way she expresses her thoughts and the devotion to her husband. Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteGot to love how she defends him, but will it plant seeds of doubt? Great hook. :)
ReplyDeleteFabulous prose, and what a cool idea for a vampire story! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI love the way this flows. Lovely hook!
ReplyDeleteAgain, a great hook x Nicely done x
ReplyDeleteShe seemed to put on a good show, but I'm wondering if she has some doubts? Interesting conflict! Loved it!
ReplyDeleteVery astute...
DeleteI just love the way you incorporate the language and speech patterns to make it period and still grant such power to the scene! I look forward to your hooks every week!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! That is always lovely to hear.
DeleteI love this. The period speech is wonderfully written, and the formality just adds to the feeling behind the words instead of making it sound stiff or cold. And I love the idea of Pride and Prejudice done in vampire style...that's so original. This was a lovely introductions to your writing for me. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteI'm very happy to be joining everyone on the hop. :) http://boundbybloodblog.com/
Thanks so much! When writing 'Pulse and Prejudice,' I did it as if Jane Austen herself were writing it. I didn't use a single word not in use in 1813.
DeleteWelcome to the hop!