It's a Miracle! Dieting Sucks, but what about noodles with no calories, carbs, fat...or taste?

Greetings, dear readers! Yes, I know, it's a miracle that I am actually posting a blog! I cannot even tell you how busy the last few weeks have been. Between working 50+ hours a week at my day job, finishing up a manuscript, going to reader/author events, I have had to cut back on my social media. In fact, I am even <gasp!> missing the Saints game to get more author-y work done.

Now as any of you who follow my little mini-blog on Facebook know, I am back to dieting. Again. That's the problem with doing a book tour -- food and alcohol! (At least when I'm home, I try to stick with the alcohol - in fact, I lost 26 pounds on my wine & cheese diet!) Alas, my husband cannot survive on wine & cheese alone, and he needs to lose a - ahem - few pounds himself. In fact, when he stepped on the scale, he was so distraught by how much weight he had to lose that I change the measurement to STONE so the number wouldn't be so big. Then he said, "Oh, so I only have to lose 3 stone - that's totally doable!" Um, yeah, OK, sure. You see, I'm a problem solver!

Problem: My husband loves spaghetti, but we are both trying to lose weight.

Solution: Miracle Noodles! No calories, no carbs, no fat, and purport to remove cholesterol from one's blood!
Now as noodles go, these "Miracle Noodles" sounded too good to be true, but I was taunted by the uncanny Internet ads that intuitively knew that, a, I am trying to lose weight, and, b, I am always willing to try new things.
And so, dear readers, I experimented with Miracle Noodles so you don't have to! Purely out of altruism, of course, but after reading this, you may decide you want to try them yourself!

My Miracle Noodle Experiment

 

 Step 1: So these "noodles" are actually some sort of weird Japanese plant or root or something (shirataki), and they come in these plastic pouches in water. When you open the bags, they smell like...well, have you ever been to Chinatown in the middle of summer? The directions, however, say to expect this and to rinse the noodles thoroughly.  I did.
It then says to blanch them in boiling water for a few minutes. I was making my regular spaghetti, so while the water was coming to a boil and my noodles were continuing to rinse, I got out all the ingredients for my sauce. I use a jarred sauce to begin, but I don't know why because I doctor it up with so many other ingredients, like wine, olive oil, more herbs, garlic, etc.

Now back when my daughter was twelve, she decided to become a vegetarian, and I wasn't about to start cooking two different meals. So I started using some soy fake meat crumbles for spaghetti, casseroles, chili, anything that used ground beef. The fake meat always just absorbed the flavor of whatever I put it in, so that's what we all ate, and I still use it today. (I don't buy beef. That's what restaurants are for.)

Step 2: I blanched the well-rinsed noodles in boiling water for 3 minutes.

While that was happening, I minced some garlic to add to the noodles during the "dry roasting" process to ensure they taste, well, likes something!

To tell you the truth, the noodles really reminded me of the rice noodles used in Mei Fun, which is one of my favorite Chinese take-out dishes. So the noodles and the texture didn't bother me at all. In fact, it made me want to find a recipe for Mei Fun, except it is just so easy just to pick up the phone and order Chinese take-out!


Step 3: After draining the noodles, they should go through this "dry roasting" process. Before beginning that, I got my sauce started. Oh, I almost forgot - crushed red pepper is a MUST in any Italian red sauce.


Step 4: Dry roasting the noodles, which essentially means tossing them in a hot skillet until they - I am not kidding - start "squeaking." Seriously, the producers actually say on their website "don't worry--this is a good thing; the noodles aren't being harmed." To tell you the truth, I found it rather disconcerting that even the idea of "harming" the noodles seemed to be within the realm of possibilities. 

As mentioned above, I chose to add garlic while dry roasting, and I'll be damned if those little noodles didn't start squeaking!



Step 5: Once my sauce was ready, I added it to the noodles so they could absorb the flavor. While waiting for the flavor to be well-absorbed, I had a glass of that wine I had used for the sauce.

 Step 6: Plated it, added some Parmesan cheese, and ate it.  And
you know what?  It was good! The noodles actually tasted just like spaghetti. It was also quite filling.

I must admit, I was somewhat skeptical about these miraculous noodles, but I have seen the light, and I'm a believer!

Next up:  Miracle RICE! I am going to try it with some chicken curry.

PLEASE NOTE: No noodles were harmed during the making of this spaghetti.

Be sure to come back on Tuesday when Scarlet Hawthorne, author of sultry love stories, joins me for Coffee to reveal the cover of her latest romantic suspense!

~Colette

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